Seems there was a burglary on campus, and locking this particular gate is the only answer to the security breech. Well, this is very inconvenient for me, and why my personal needs are not front and center I'll never know. Don't they know that I am the PTA Parliamentarian? Doesn't that mean anything anymore?
Joking aside, I did write an angry e-mail to the principal, my first and hopefully last e-mail of its kind, and then got a call that there had been another attempted burglary this morning! Can you believe that shit? You have to have some serious balls to come onto an elementary school campus in the middle of a school day, go into an empty classroom, and start rifling around for cash and credit cards. WHAT KIND OF DOUCHE BAG STEALS FROM TEACHERS? Why not just take the kids lunches out of their hands, or rob a bake sale, or mug a social worker while you're at it? The perp' was chased by the teacher, but got away. Seriously, what a D. bag. I'm so glad no kids were around, I don't even want to think about that. I don't think locking my gate is the answer, but I'll take a shift patrolling the school with a walky-talky, I've been watching The Wire, I know how to stake out a place.
Can you just see me trying to chase down a criminal? Puh-leez. I'd be limping along, "Hold on! Somebody stop that burglar! Help! Police!" Lotta help I'd be. "I woulda caught him, too, if I were in any kind of physical shape whatsoever!" Yeah, I'm a super tough guy.
What's more, this burglar is a woman. One of my own. Perfect cover: look like a mom on campus and then steal stuff. D.O.U.C.H.E. B.A.G.
Its still raining, which I love, but its the kind of rain that can't make up its mind. It rains for a few minutes, then stops. Rains some more, stops. I need to go out and buy a big golf umbrella. The puny one I had didn't keep the rain off any of us this morning. We used to have one of these big umbrellas, but someone stole it. At the school, come to think of it! Who steals someone's umbrella? Don't you think that sucks? I can understand taking the wrong umbrella by accident, but man up and return it to the lost and found. If you're reading this and you came home from school with a big navy blue golf umbrella that wasn't yours, I'm on to you.
My house smells like wet dog, and I have delicious chinese food leftovers in the fridge, but I'm inexplicably not in the mood for chinese. I'm in the mood for cookies. Where does one even buy an umbrella? Is it a sporting good? A piece of hardware? I honestly have no idea...
P.S. Happy Birthday, Laura!