Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Hallelujah!

If you've been reading this blog for a while, I love you, and you may remember that on Christmas Eve of 2008, I cleaned the bathroom. I remember it because it was Christmas Eve. If you haven't been reading this blog long enough to remember, shame on you, you have some catching up to do.

So, apparently, twice a year, whether it needs it or not, I clean the bathroom. I know that it is twice a year, because, my friends, I cleaned it today, just now. TA DA!!

I am really quite a disgusting person. I always hide behind the fact that we all have clean underwear and eat off clean dishes, and I pretend that means that I'm focussing on the really important things in life. The ugly truth is, I'm just plain gross. Its not just the pink mildew, either, though that was significant, but there was just plain dirt, grime, stickiness. I used vinegar and water, windex, 409, barkeepers friend, two rags (should have used three) a sponge and a scrub brush and a toilet brush. I have a lot of cleaning products for someone who never cleans.

I've been in there for an hour, and I didn't even do the tub or the floor since I still can't couch or kneel with my stupid knee. I will let Rob do those, but considering it is his job to clean the camping stove that has been sitting in the driveway since the camping trip two weeks ago, we could grow old and crust over waiting for that to happen.

Now, when I brush my teeth, I rinse by bending over the sink and slurping water from the faucet. I don't suck on the faucet or touch it with my mouth at all. Some people will think this is gross, but I don't think its any grosser than drinking from a public water fountain. Plus, If you saw the filth I just cleaned, you would NEVER suggest that I have drinking glass of any kind in the bathroom. Its way more sanitary to rinse with the faucet. Anyway, I knew it must be time to clean the bathroom when I stopped doing that and slurped out of my hands instead. If the pink mildew wasn't a tip off, then being grossed out by my own sink was.

I always think that no one notices how dirty my house is. That people never look that closely at each other's homes, but maybe I'm fooling myself. Maybe all my mom friends go home to their husbands and say, "That Bored Housewife is such a disgusting person. How does she not see that her bathroom is filthy?" They still keep sending their kids over here, though, so it can't be that bad.

I had a comment a while ago from a reader who was so relieved that she didn't have to choose between being a working mother or staying at home with her kids, cleaning her house; that she could stay at home with her kids and NOT clean her house and feel okay about it. She seemed so grateful! See? I'm changing lives with my laziness and cleanliness habits.

I can smell the clean bathroom from where I'm sitting. The smell of victory.

Honk if you're like me and hide your disgustingness from all your friends!


*** Update: I ended up cleaning the house from 9 a.m. until 4 in the afternoon. Can you believe it? I was on fire! The living room! Check! The bedroom! Check! The kitchen! Check! I don't know what the hell has gotten into me!

1 comment:

Laura said...

Excellent! So proud of you. Now you can rest easy until Christmas time...