I feel like Leila just started kindergarten about 18 months ago, and now she is leaving the fourth grade, and I am leaving the place that has been at the heart of my social life for 5 years.
I know at some point I will be an emotional mess, probably tomorrow. I'm just waiting for the blubbering to start. Kids growing up sucks balls. I mean, its wonderful to watch them grow up, and they get so much easier, and they can take care of their own business, but the fact that we can not hologram our kids like they did with Tupac is a freakin' crime.
Can't I just have her little self back for a while?!! Honestly, is it too much to ask? To hear the lisp she used to have? To hear her call me Mommy instead of Mom? To be able to pick her up and set her on my hip? She asked me the other day why I don't just have another baby, and there is no way I would want to start over again, I just want her, smaller, just for a little visit. Just until she shits her diapers, and then I'll take her ten year-old self back. It is still a miracle to me when she goes to the bathroom on her own, and she's been doing it for a long time. Last night, she made me a bologna sandwich for dinner. My little kid, previously a kindergartener, made me dinner. She made herself dinner, too. She and a friend rode their bikes to the yogurt shop by themselves. WHAT IS HAPPENING???
I've said it before and I'll say it again: if you are out there and you have little little kids, and they drive you crazy and they don't sleep at night and they throw tantrums and they charm you, and shit their pants, it wont be long and they'll be walking home from school by themselves and barricading themselves in their rooms. Put on your seat belts, there's nothing you can do. Its coming.
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| Leila on the first day of preschool, age 2 yrs, 9 mos. |
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| Leila on the first day of Fourth Grade, age 9 |
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