My 10 Favorite Sounds
Let's see how this goes...
1) Camera shutter: Not the fake kind that is included with all the digital cameras, but the real deal, the real 35mm shutter. The last camera we got is a digital, and I didn't realize that what I really wanted was a digital SLR, nor did I realize how crazy expensive those are. I asked the guy at the store if the camera made a shutter sound (I just mis-typed, and wrote "shitter sound" and I think we can all be glad our cameras don't make that noise) and he said it did, but he meant that it makes the fake kind. My neighbor is a fancy shmancy professional photographer, and I secretly think she got into that profession because she wanted to hear this sound all the time.
2) Crickets: This is a pretty boring one, but those nasty little insects are pretty irresistible. They make me think about when I was in third grade and we moved into the house my parents still live in, and it has a huge oak tree in the yard with tons of crickets. In the summer, they make a good racquet, and I went from complaining that they we keeping me awake, to loving the sound. The tree was also full of spiders, and I spent at least a year being scared of spiders AND vampires so I would put myself to sleep with this elaborate system of rolling the top of my down comforter a couple of times and pulling it tight around my neck, and sleeping as far away from the wall as I could, sometimes waking up with my head on the nightstand. (I failed to understand, at the time, that spiders don't need walls to come and get you, they can dangle from the ceiling on webs and get you that way.) Its a really good thing I never imagined vampire spiders, I never would have slept again.
3) Kids laughing, especially when they're laughing at fart humor. Of course I love my daughter's laugh, and that girl can laugh. She has laughed so hard that she's peed her pants and fallen on the kitchen floor. She gets into these laughing jags and just can't stop. She has two friends who have fantastic laughs. One of them, C, is a very quiet girl who can hardly muster a goodbye when she leaves and lets other kids speak for her all the time, and when she does speak, she's a soft-talker. You'd never know that she has the biggest, loudest laugh. She and Leila sit at the kitchen table making up stories with their bunny crackers and this girl laughs her little ass off. Another of Leila's friends, E, has this little angelic face, and pretty blond hair, and she looks like she just stepped out of an ivory snow commercial. She has the most maniacal, demonic laugh you've ever heard. She laughs like a 6 year-old serial killer.
Somehow, its more enjoyable to me when the kids are laughing about poo poo caca stuff than other stupid stuff they think is funny. Once, in the back of my friend's car, Leila and C were going on and on about sheep spraying diarrhea out their penises, and they were just in hysterics. I try to make my back seat a safe place for "potty talk" thinking that when they're older it will develop into sex talk or drug talk. I fool myself into thinking that they'll always forget I'm there if I just stay quiet. One day, on the way to a nursery, I said "better wrap up the potty talk, we're almost there." and C said, "Quick! Leila! Say something about poo!"
4) I can't really think of any more sounds that I love, except for cheesy ones like wind in the trees, and waves on the beach and crap like that, so how about the sounds I hate?
5) My dog barking excessively. A little barking is fine and natural, but, really, this is getting ridiculous.
6) Pearl Jam. Can't stand Pearl Jam. Makes me want to rip the car radio out of the dashboard and beat it against my own head.
7) The low battery alert on my smoke detectors. They always want to alert me that my battery is low at two in the morning. I can't tell you how many smoke detecters I have beaten to death with a broom handle.
8) Other people's kids whining. My daughter doesn't whine much, and do you want to know how I cured her of whining in the week after she discovered whining? I said, "I can't hear you when you're whining, it makes my ears not work" Done. If she does whine, I know she has a really good reason. Some kids, though, whining is there MO. They don't know how to speak any other way, and it makes me want to stick my fingers in me ears and go LA LA LA LA LA!
9) My feet really smell! So much for the anti microbial foot beds in these shoes. I need anti microbial feet.
10) Oh here's a sound I like: Bowling pins being knocked over. Its the sound of fun, and I don't even bowl.
Okay, that's ten. Ten of what, I have no idea. Thanks for your patience, and hey! if you're on facebook, join the Bored Housewife Syndrome fan club. I started it myself since I am such a fan of... myself. There was a woman on Oprah who makes a butt load of cash with her blog, and I think I should be able to do that, too. Who wants to get out of their pajamas just to make a little money?
You gotta love a baby's giggle . . . I think that's my number one.
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