Well, I did. I did exactly what I explained in the last post: swarmed through the bra department of Macy's, like one of those ant colonies that can devour an entire buffalo in minutes and leave only the bones, and, with an armload of Ds and DDs, spat on the "six items or less rule" in the dressing room, and started trying them on. I tried on every one once, then I tried on the best three again, and then the best two one more time. I did all the tests, plus an additional one that I forgot to mention: while wearing my T shirt over the bra, I swing my arms back and forth, close to the body, and if the inside of my upper arm hits boob during the swing, its no good. (Its a delicate balance between too wide, and too pushed into the middle.)
Not only did I find a bra, I found two! I bought one in nude and the other in black, so I can road test them both, and they were both under $40, and the black one was on sale! The universe was not only smiling, it was patting me on the head and giving me a cookie!
Then we went to Cheesecake factory for lunch, and we ordered off their small plates menu, and every single thing we had was delicious, and we sat outside, under an umbrella, and judged everyone who walked by. It was wonderful. Nothing could have made it better. And! I found some pants! I only have one pair of pants that actually fits me right now; the rest are either two big (relax, I didn't lose any weight, I just bought them too big) or too small. Although it was a little humiliating buying pants with my thin friend (who kept saying, " well, if you lose some weight those will be too big." and I wanted to say, "Really: who are we kidding?") any discomfort I felt was completely outweighed by the sheer joy of finding a bra that fits.
The girls will be so happy, to be lovingly cupped in a new supportive wardrobe workhorse. Did I happen to mention why I needed a new bra (let me know if this is TMI)? I usually only buy one bra because they're so expensive, and I wear it every day, rain or shine, for a year or two. If I want to wash it, I have to do laundry on a day where I'll be home long enough to line dry it, or be okay wearing a sports bra. Well, my old bra's time must have been up, because, the other day, I was bending over to tie my shoes and I heard a snap. It was the under wire snapping in two. Poor thing, it was just plum wore out. It committed suicide.
I have two new bras! I have two new pairs of pants! I had ahi tar tar! Life is good, people, life is good!