Wednesday, August 11, 2010


I just hit up some old flames on the Facebook.  Do you ever do this?  I think they call it "lurking" when its on Facebook, "killing time" when its on Google, and "stalking" when you actually leave your house.  Here's the thing: Why is it that every guy I ever dated or, more realistically, was infatuated with from afar (or from very close up) got better looking while I became and ugly old cow?  I know this is not a new complaint from women; men get better looking, even if they go grey or bald, and women have to fight like hell just to keep up.  Its so unfair!

I buy the food my husband eats, and yet he's still as skinny as a rail while I have ballooned.  He's lost most of his hair, and he looks better than he did with hair.  He can spend good money on good, well-fitting clothes because he knows he wont grow out of them in a week, so he is always better dressed than I am.  And although he has weird lumpy cysts in his arms which make me want to retch, he is not afflicted by hyperpigmentation, or age spots, or spider vanes, or cellulite, or toe nail fungus, or any of the stuff that I accumulate on a daily basis.  He has not started to grow hairs anywhere he didn't already have them 15 years ago, and I - well, that's another story. 

Do you think I should take up tennis?

1 comment:

EGB said...

Now, I know if you're friending old boyfriends and you've talked with any friends who have done the same, there have been stories about the creepy stalkers and musings of "What If I Wound Up with Him?" The story I'm posting online (instead of daily blogging) is a fictional tale of exactly all that, plus a detour into the cougar's den for our main character.

I hope you'll take a peek! It's a fun and familiar read about a mommy-wife like us who ventures down a path most don't, but many think about!

And you look fabulous... Trust me, your old boyfriends and infatuations are kicking themselves right now!