Monday, May 17, 2010

Bride of Chucky

Did you feel like getting up this morning? I didn't. Apparently, Leila didn't either because when I went in her room to get her up, she was a total dick to me.

Should you be held accountable for your actions in the moments after waking, especially on a Monday morning, when its raining, and you're eight years old? I say yes. So I snapped, and decided that this was the morning she could figure things out on her own, that little brat.

I've had this idea in my back pocket all year. If she's a bitch to me in the morning about getting her up and to school, then she can get her own ass up and make her own way through the morning without me on her tail every single second, and we'll see how late she is. Then, she can march herself down to the office at school for a tardy pass. According to her, there is nothing more terrifying that navigating the school grounds on her own and going to The Office. I admit to being intimidated by the place where the school secretaries sit, and the principal's offices are, but I'm almost over it. I thought this was a perfect plan. The perfect use of natural consequences.

Problem was, she wasn't late at all, and she felt crazy guilty for snarling at me and I felt like a douche bag, so my dastardly plan failed. The only lesson I taught her this morning was that mommy's affection can not be counted on on a rainy Monday. Its just so hard to drag your own ass out of bed, only to be shit on by a child that looks all warm and sleepy and snuggly. Its like the freakin' bride of Chucky. Then she told me she thinks my bathrobe is boring. Its a bathrobe, kid, not a carnival ride.

So now its rainy and dark, and I want to climb back into my bed and sleep some more, but I have to figure out what's for dinner, and go to the grocery store, and do three loads of laundry, and return some emails and phone calls, and move on with my life. Happy effing Monday, ever'body!

To cure any Monday blues you may be having,
here's a pic of a cute puppy.
Is it working?

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