Blind and Loving It

I am rocking and rolling today. I have a long list, but I've already checked off half of the things on it, so I can spend a few minutes with y'all. Leila is going to decorate a birthday cake for my mom. I'm having the family over for dinner tonight, and she is doing the cake. Actually, I baked the cake, and I mixed all the frosting colors and put them in the pastry bags, and I will put a crumb coat on the cake, but other than that, she's doing it. I kind of got excited and made up the design instead of letting her do it. She was into it, though, and didn't seem disappointed, so I think I'm okay. Its going to be a yellow flower with an orange middle and a green stem. I'll take a picture when its done and show you.

I'm making a pork roast for dinner. Its supposed to be 90 degrees here today, but once I make a decision I have a really hard time unmaking it, so pork roast it is. I have just mentally prepared myself that I'm going to be a hot, sweaty, miserable mess until 6 o'clock. Then I can drink cold cocktails and everything will be okay.

Yesterday, I took my mom to a beauty salon and had her eyebrows done. She hates them. She thinks they go too far down the outside of her eyes. This is where the people who know the beauty rules say eyebrows are supposed to go, but my mom prefers to draw hers on so they disappear into her temples. I don't mean draw, like, a dark, high-arched line, hers are more subtle. At least now her brows are all one color. She had a big poof of brow on either side of the bridge of her nose, and they were grey and white, and the she would draw on the the outside half of her brows (out toward the temples, like they were plotting an escape from her face) in a light brown pencil. She didn't see the problem, but I couldn't take it anymore. So I got her waxed and tinted, and now she's learning to live with normal looking eyebrows which is apparently much harder than I thought it would be.

After the brows, the make up ladies took over. They were very respectful of the fact that she didn't want to look like she was wearing make up, and they did a beautiful job. No Tammy-faye to be seen. I bought her a bunch of stuff, and then I bought me a bunch of stuff, which I totally don't need since I wear make up, like, twice a month, maybe.

I love to buy make up. There's so much promise. I always think that, this time, I have found the magic tube or jar or powder that will make me look like a younger, thinner version of myself, only more fabulous, and then I'll walk into a store and buy jeans that make me look irresistible. Irresistible to whom, though? My husband is blind to how I look, which is kind of a blessing; I can put in minimal effort and still get laid pretty much whenever I want. I can also eat a scone while pushing a cart through the Whole Foods and not think too much about it. I can also pee with the door open. But make up can change all that, right?

If you're married or have been with the same person for a while, isn't it so hard to see them? I couldn't tell you if my husband is good looking any easier than I could tell you if my brother is good looking. I am told that he is (the husband,) and I know he looks better than he did when I married him, but that's about the best I can do. Really, thank God for the blindness that years offer me. Otherwise, I would be sca-rewed.

I have to clean the house for tonight, but I'd really rather take a little snooze. A pre-cleaning nap never hurt anyone right? I can still get it all done, right? Thanks, you're a big help.