Monday, December 15, 2008

The Secret is the Guacamole

This morning on the radio, the radio-guy read a report that said the courts are expecting a very busy day for divorce filings on January 12. Apparently, this happened last year, too, lots of divorce filings on the second or third Monday of the month. They discussed that maybe people make new year's resolutions to dump their spouses, or that they gave their marriage one more year to work out, they've slogged through the holidays for the kids, and now its over. One more possibility that I will add is the one spouse has just had to spend her holidays trapped in her in law's house and she just can't take it any more. Then the radio-people started talking about divorces where one of the partners thinks everything is ok, and the other spouse takes them completely by surprise. A couple of women called in and said that this had happened to them; that their husbands had just gotten up one day after 17, 18, 20 years of marriage and told their wives it was over and filed for divorce. Then, some contrary Mary called in to say that if a woman is completely blindsided by her husbands hasty exit, she hasn't been paying attention, and they haven't been checking in with each other, which kicked off the husband's boltage in the first place. Let's not go into why it is all the wife's responsibility to check in to see if her marriage is okay, because that's just BS.
So, I got to thinking about my marriage, and how I would totally hate to be married to me, and thought, "I'd better check in." I called Rob at work and told him about what I'd heard on the radio, and said, "So I'm just checking in to make sure you're not planning on filing for divorce on January 12th or any other day in 2009." First, he responded in his regular my-wife's-a-nutjob tone of voice, and told me that, no, he hadn't planned on divorcing me next month. Then he adopted his favored smart-ass tone of voice and said that even if he was planning on divorcing me in January, he'd want it to be a surprise.
So, phew! I'm not getting divorced any time soon. What a relief. In my case, "its cheaper to keep 'er" since we totally could not afford to get divorced anyway. Even if we wanted to gouge each other's eyes out, we'd have to stay together just to say solvent. Oh yeah, and for the kid, right?
I honestly don't know what this man sees in me, but I'm just glad he sees something. I felt like eating guacamole tonight, and he went out and got us some, and its, like, forty degrees outside! What a guy.
While I sit on the couch writing this, he is watching the Artistic Pool Championship on ESPN2. What do I see in him again? Oh yeah, the guacamole...

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