Tori vs. Turkey Vultures

     Today I went on a field trip with Leila's class to Wildcare, a wild animal hospital nearby.  One kid got stung by a yellow-jacket, and I loved the turkey vulture, which I never thought would happen.  They are so ugly, those birds, and just eating dead stuff makes them kind of gross, and if they get dead guts on their legs they pee on themselves to wash off, and they puke as a way to get away from predators, and they're just naturally disgusting.  But this turkey vulture had personality, he showed off for the kids, he spread his wings, he climbed around, he was very charming.  I like being surprised like that.  Like when I realized I liked the Tori and Dean show, only better because this was educational.  I also learned something very interesting about ravens and crows: if its a raven, the tail will be shaped like a letter V, and if its a crow it will have a blunt tail.  The raven was the only bird in the place with toys in its enclosure, and I wondered if all the other birds were jealous, or if they disliked the raven because he's clearly spoiled.  He did not have personality like the turkey vulture, I'll tell you that much.  I am not a fan of ravens or crows.  We have too many of them around here, and they make such a racket and they intimidate the other birds with their winner-take-all attitudes.  I also suspect that they attack the ducklings in the pond, so they make my list of evil birds.  We also have a lot of Canada geese in the park near here, and their poo is insane.  Its huge and everywhere.  Our town has a goose abatement program where a border collie wearing a little red vest runs around  the flock of geese lounging on the grass and scares the hell out of them.  They fly off to the athletic field of the high school in the next town over and become that town's problem.  I'm always nervous when they are flying over head; one of their turds could really pack a wollop.  Didn't know you'd be catching Nature Hour with Monica, did you? What can I say?  I'm a renaissance woman, and I can learn as much from a field trip as a bunch of first graders.  Did you also know that, when threatened, a gopher snake pretends to be a rattle snake by shaking is tail, thus causing a rustling sound in the grass?  Its true.  Who knew that a snake could pretend anything?  Except for cartoon snakes, maybe.  

     Tomorrow is Saturday.  I love Saturday, but sometimes it turns out to be disappointing.  I always have all these things I want to accomplish, and then we end up sitting around.  My husband, bless him, wants to help out on the weekends.  I'll turn the corner to find him sorting laundry or something, and I know I'm supposed to be happy that I have a man who helps around the house, but instead it makes me defensive, like he's commenting on my job performance.  I told my mom this, and she, with her 1950's sensibility, said "Well, he probably is."  He's not my boss, mom!  I have asked him to do the dishes on the weekend.  I don't really need a break from most things, but dishes, yes, he can do them for a day or two.  He always leaves things, though.  There's always a pan on the stove that he "didn't see" or a passive aggressive cup or something next to the sink.  I also have to redo at least one dish when he does the dishes.  Its amazing how he can miss whole morsels of food sticking to a pot.  How does he not see it?  

     Ok, this has gone on long enough.  I have to go feed my loathsome cat who is driving me crazy meowing at the front door.  She has an eating disorder, and she hates us, but I don't think one thing has anything to do with the other.  Have a nice weekend!