Tuesday, April 17, 2012

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming...

Sorry I've been so... gone. I have no good excuse, like depression or being super busy or out of town. I've been right here, sitting on my ass. I don't know why I haven't been writing. There are musicians out there who make much better music when they're off their meds, y'know? Maybe I'm like that; I'm not particularly angry about anything, or annoyed, and I'm feeling pretty good. Maybe that makes me bo-ring.

Anyway, here I am. I can hear your sighs of relief from here!

Last weekend, Leila had a sleep over in the big city with her aunt and uncle. They're in their 20s. Don't think kids don't notice the difference between aunts and uncles that are your age, and younger ones. They do. The younger ones are infinitely cooler. Kids are not dumb dumbs, they know where their bread is buttered.

It was food fest 2012! They went for pizza, then they went for ice cream, then they went to a liquor store and stocked up on provisions for the evening.

Lets do a tally here:

Nacho Cheese Doritos (2 bags!)
Cool Ranch Doritos
Sour Cream and Cheddar Ruffles (my personal favorite)
Fritos cornchips
Blue Gatorade (2 bottles)
Munchies (which contain Cheetohs, Sunchips, Doritos and annoying pretzels)
Ritter Sport (chocolate with some cookie in there)
Lindor chocolates

and in her hand is a waffle cone of ice cream. Do you see the look on her face? This is everything she dreams about, and everything she asks me for at the grocery store to which I say no. Before she left for the evening she told me that she hadn't eaten very much all day so she could have lots of room for all the junk. I told her that if she ever wanted to be invited back, she should take care not to vomit.

In addition to eating, they stayed up late, they watched Puss n' Boots, they did crafts, did mani pedis, and the next day they took a cable car and went out to breakfast, stopping along the way to buy earrings and plastic toys.

It was like her dream come true. She'll never forget it. When she's old and gray she'll look back and tell all the other people in the nursing home, "Ah.... this one time, I ate my weight in MSG and high fructose corn syrup. It was the best day of my life..."

I think she's almost recovered now. She had a hard re-entry, not because of the junk food, but because of the lack of sleep. And who suffers? Me. Totally worth it, though. Every kid needs cool aunts and uncles. If you don't have one of these for your own kid, hire one from your local college. Your kid will thank you. Actually, no they wont, they never thank us for a damned thing, but the college kid will thank you because now they have some beer money.

P.S. The leftover chips came home with her the next day, and Rob and I ate them all. We're as starved for junk as any ten year-old.

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