Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Keeping up with the Scallops

Oh my gosh! I haven't posted in a whole WEEK! Where has the time gone? There is so much to update you on, I just don't know where to start. How about at Red Lobster?

To be funny, Rob gave me a $25 gift card to Red Lobster for Christmas. Only, he forgot to actually give it to me at Christmas, so he gave it to me -wrapped in Christmas paper - last week. I know I am not the only one who has salivated over the Red Lobster commercials on TV, and dreamed about diving into a vat of all-you-can-eat shrimp and eating my way out. Admit it! Don't be ashamed, its ok to dream. We figured we'd save the gift card until some later date, but the thought of the buttery scampi and the scallops were too much for us to bear, so Friday night I dropped L off with my parents, picked Rob up from work, and we drove the 36 miles to the closest Red Lobster.

We had an appetizer while we waited for our table, and I made the mistake of looking in the little booklet where they keep all the nutritional information. Our appetizer was 1200 calories. Twelve. Hundred. For dinner I had the broiled seafood platter with stuffed soul, shrimp scampi, and bay scallops and mashed potatoes. Basically, a plate of melted butter with a little seafood thrown in. It in no way resembled the deliciousness that they sell you in the commercial, but it was still heavenly. There was no way I could finish it (not after that appetizer) so I got to enjoy it again the next day for lunch. I felt gross, but it was totally worth it.

We had a rainy weekend, my favorite kind of weekend, and here is what I did on Sunday: Rob watched football, I sat on the couch and watched sitcoms on hulu with my headphones. When they were over, I read my Oprah magazine and fell asleep on the couch. When the football game ended, Rob went to the gym, and I continued my nap on the couch. I got up eventually, felt sick because I had slept too hard and long, waddled around the house for a while, then sat back on the couch and watched the Golden Globes pre-show on E. I watched it on fast forward because if I have to hear Seacrest speak I will die. I watched the whole, long, endless Golden Globes telecast, watched the after party on E, still on the couch, and then something strange happened; I looked up from the computer solitaire I was playing, while watching TV, and I noticed that Keeping up with the Kardashians was on. I've never seen an episode of this show, but Sunday night they had a marathon and Rob and I watched it for more than two hours. We were strangely compelled. Not only were we watching it, but we were discussing it, like, That khloe is really not being fair to the other one's boyfriend. and Kim really shouldn't lie like that; what is she teaching her little sisters? and She seems dead inside but look at her ass! Then, we started looking them up online to find out more about them, like who's the oldest (Kourtney) who's the tallest (Khloe.) It took me two hours of watching the show to realize all their names start with K. (I'm slow like that.)

I went to bed feeling much like I had after my dinner at Red Lobster: It was bad for me, I was disgusted with myself, I felt fat, I needed to sleep it off, and I was looking forward to the next time I could abuse myself like that.


Lara Starr said...

I don't keep up with the Karshians as a rule, but def. watch when there's nothing else on. Their family tree is fascinating. Kris Jenner's first husband was Robert Kardashian, OJ Simpson's personal att'y and best friend. Bruce's son is Brody Jenner from The Hills. Brody's mother is married to David Foster, the composer. David's sister is Clay Aikin's babymomma. I heart Hollywood!

Jewcy Bits said...

I like to refer to myself as a reality TV Whore. I will essentially watch anything reality TV-related. I think I do it because my day-to-day life is so stressful that I need something mindless to numb it all.:)

That and I LOVE the friggin drama.