Remember how proud I was yesterday? How kick-ass? How on top of it? Well, it all went in the crapper. Not really, but a little bit.
I lost my will to do anything but sit on the couch yesterday, so I did not make dinner, could not bring myself to eat the left over curry, was whiny and loser-like, so Rob went and got me a burrito. Then today I took my mother to lunch, but, believe me: with the free two-week trip to Hawaii coming up next month, lunch is a wise, dividend-paying investment. It was never going to last, we had to have known that, right? I'm not giving up, though! I'm right back on the wagon today! Except I'm not really.
I'm just not feeling that great. I've been sleeping like the dead, which is wonderful, but unusual for me. I am often woken by a cat crawling on me, or by heavy rain, and I'm usually awake and coherent by the time the alarm goes off, but the last two nights have been like black holes of sleep, and I am alarmed by the alarm, and confused and exhausted.
Last night I had a dream that I was hanging out with Michael C Hall from Dexter and he was wearing the knit cap he wore to the Golden Globes and the SAG awards (yes, I watched both, and I'm not the least bit ashamed) and he has a big lesion type thing on his face. Just then, Rob woke me up to kiss me goodbye, and he was wearing a knit cap, and I was flummoxed for a sec'.
I am very fearful of getting sick, so every feeling I have that isn't typical is a sure sign of my oncoming demise. I have a big cyst on my face (its gnarly, you don't want to know about it) and its infected right now, and I'm sure this means that I will somehow end up in the hospital with IVs. I have to calm down. I have to make dinner! (Rob is grossed out by my cyst, and says that if he touches it, the baby spiders will come pouring out. Its so nasty.)
On another topic all together, if you are a stay-at-home parent, or even a parent working part-time but still the primary caregiver to your children (or you were at some point) tell me: did you perceive an image of the perfect Stay-at-Home-Parent? I'd really like to know, so please leave your answer in the comments. I'm curious to see if its just me. My whole blog depends on this myth existing, so I can continue to write about how I will never live up to it, but no pressure...