Tuesday, December 1, 2009

What is Wrong with People?

Okay, I have two things I want to talk about today, and neither one of them include vampires. At least I don't think so.

1) Have you watched the show Hoarders? Oh my God. Its so compelling, but so revolting. I can't not watch it. Just like its predecessor, Intervention, about addiction, its these people who are, frankly (and I don't think I'm being uncharitable here,) effing train wrecks. I joke about how I'm a pig with my pink mildew in the shower, and how I sleep under stacks of clothes at the foot of my bed while inhaling cat hair in my sleep, but these people are not pigs. I mean, they are, for sure, but they're also sad, sick people who need so much help. Its most heartbreaking when there are children involved like last night, and you see a little tiny kid picking his way into a room with a foot of trash on the floor. I can't stop watching it. Apparently, 3 million Americans are afflicted with compulsive hoarding, and I am so glad I am not one of them. Its good TV, though, I'll tell you that much. A double dose of Intervention and Hoarders right before you go to sleep is enough to give you nightmares. This one woman on the show last night had an armchair under so much garbage that it decomposed and broke in pieces when the cleaners (people with stomachs of steel, I don't know how they do it) touched it. Ugh.

2) I went to the playground today (I know, that's shocking as I NEVER go to playground. Bo-ring) and I had nothing to do while L ran around, and I noticed the woman on the next bench was reading the new People magazine, the one with Oprah on the cover. I thought to myself, Hey, maybe when she's clearly done and puts it down, I'll ask if I can borrow it. So I start looking at L's library books (all about sharks and dolphins and other marine life; I'm so over it) and then I notice the People magazine woman get up, with the magazine, and start walking toward the trash can. This time, I am saying to myself, out loud but not loud enough that people could hear me and think I was a psychopath, No. No no no. Don't do it! NO!

Bitch threw the People magazine in the trash. Its still on news stands! Its brand new! How does someone DO THAT? I had half a mind to go over and dig it out of the trash, but its not like the trash can at the library or something, its the playground, and its filled with dirty diapers and melted popsicles and bags of dog poop (hopefully its in bags) and all other kinds of nasty-ass things that kids create and parents throw away at the playground. When L was tiny and still learning to use the toilet, she crapped her pants at the playground and I threw her underpants with the poo still in them right into the trash can. I did not have a bag. This is what parents have to resort to sometimes, okay? I wasn't going to walk around with a poo-filled panty until I found a more suitable receptacle. Anyway, I was shocked. Who throws People magazine away? You can always find someone who is more than happy to take it off your hands, and then they'll pass it on to someone else until it ends up in a doctors office a year from now with the cross word done and the coupons ripped out, and you still enjoy looking at it. Crazy. Oh, and don't even get me started on how she didn't save it for recycling. Honestly.


Lara Starr said...

I have the same issue with good shopping bags. The kind with handles. Who the heck throws those away? I've rescued many from the trash.

Alice said...

I have 2 issues of US Weekly (given to me by a friend) that I'll send your way. I'm with you on this one.