Post Vacation Edition

I'm back from Hawaii. I only blogged once during the two weeks I was there (yes, two weeks in Hawaii, I am indeed a spoiled brat) and part of the reason is that my parents were always around, and I didn't want them looking over my shoulder, especially if I was writing about them. Also, my mom just doesn't understand what I'm doing on the computer while in Hawaii, and doesn't understand why I feel the need to update my facebook status, or e-mail my friends, or go to TMZ.com, but I don't understand why she feels the need to read the Kauai island newspaper every day, and watch Larry King. To each his own. There also may be a chance that my dad saw my blog while I was sick. I must have clicked into it while I was at his house one day (I'm always checking for comments, not that I get that many, hint hint) and I must have left it up. But when he mentioned seeing something I had written, I was in the hospital and totally out of it. So now, it is possible that my dad is following my blog. Its a slim chance; I don't think he understands a lot about this stuff, but, Dad, if you're looking at this blog, please give me a sign, so I know not to write anything embarrassing about you. Like, there are moments with my Dad in Hawaii that I would love to write about right now, but I don't want him to read about himself, and I don't want to embarrass anyone. Such a bummer, though, there's some really good stuff.

But, instead, I'll just say this: Eat, drink, sleep, read, beach, pool. That is the summation of my entire vacation. 'Nuff said.

Yesterday, I was cruising around the I-pod App Store, and I found a free one called Atomic Fart. Such a great concept. Its essentially a computerized fart machine, with two dozen different fart sounds, and you can time the fart sounds. One Christmas eve, years ago, my brother brought along a fart machine, and it was hilarious. It was a little plastic thing with, like, three fart sounds, and my brother kept pushing the button all through the evening and we cracked up every time. I don't generally crack up at an actual fart, but the fart machine was all laughs. I thought Atomic Fart would be an improvement, but the fart sounds weren't good. There were only one or two that were funny, and the rest sounded like helicopters, or jack hammers, rather than farts. I ended up deleting the app. Apparently, there is a version of Atomic Fart you can pay money for, and maybe that has better fart sounds. Not worth the 99 cents, though. I'll just make my own fart sounds.

One more thing about Hawaii. We spent one week on the island of Kauai, which, if you don't know, is one of the smaller, more rural islands. Its also gets 400 inches of rain a year, but that's another topic. Anyway. The island is crawling with wild chickens. There are chickens everywhere, and there's no stopping them. You're sitting by the pool, reading your book, and suddenly you notice that a rooster has just walked right under your chair. The roosters crow all day. You become totally accustomed to the sound, and I didn't really mind it. There are also feral cats (lots of good they're doing) and on Oahu we saw mongooses, but the chickens are far more entertaining and educational. I saw two chickens have sex right in front of me, and it was very, very brief. Its a weird sight, so see a chicken walking along the beach. Huh.