What's That Smell?

You may have noticed, or may not care, that the Gilmore Girls series has been over for a few weeks. It was the second time I've gotten a Tivo season pass to it, and the second time I watched all five seasons of it, beginning to end. They're still running the show, from the beginning again, but I'm done for a while. I may have to wait a few years before I watch it again.

So I've been bouncing around other reruns: Sex and the City, MASH, Roseanne, but I've been a little bereft without a show to be obsessed with during the down times. Then the clouds parted, and the dove-like messenger of peace (Rob) found that Hulu has the whole series of My So Called Life.

This show aired in the mid-90s, and centers around Angela Chase (Claire Danes) as a High school sophomore. Angst ensues, and it is absolutely delicious. Not like the teen shit they have on TV now. When I first watched it, I think I was in my mid 20s, and it was in syndication. I was still close enough to high school days to completely identify with Angela. I WAS Angela Chase. Now, though, I find myself identifying with the parents on the show. Rob is watching it with me and I keep poking him in the ribs and saying, "Pay attention! This will be you and Leila in 8 short years."

I've read that when your kids are going through all their high school drama, they don't want to hear about your high school drama. That, no matter how you try to convince them that you, too, fell in love, and were disappointed by the object of that love, many times over, and that you felt less-than, and that you were scared and humiliated every single day, and that you can remember what was playing on the radio when you felt that way, They Don't Care.

This isn't very funny. How about this: Rob's breath was so heinous yesterday that the whole car still smelled like his stink today, and I had to drive with the windows open. Is that better?

If you've never seen My So Called Life, and want to relive a little bit of high school in the privacy of your adulthood, you should watch it. Its fabulous. Its better than Tori and Dean.

I've Just Managed to Depress Myself

Am I the only parent who does not want school to start? I hear other parents counting down the days until their freedom, and I am dreading the beginning of school. Used to be that school started on the Tuesday after labor day, but now it starts two weeks earlier. I don't want to send her off to school again. Moreover, I don't want to get up at 7 and make lunch and breakfast every single dingle morning, walk to school, start going to meetings, blah blah blah.

Summer is my least favorite season, but I just love summer vacation. I love sleeping in. I love letting Leila stay up late, and letting her have sleepovers on weeknights, and lounging around the house for most of the day.

Here's a list of everything good about school starting: cool weather is around the corner and, if we're very lucky, rain will be around the next corner. I will get almost every morning to myself, and I wont be pestered at the grocery store (I actually kind of like being pestered at the grocery store.) We'll stop spending so much money on activities and food and stuff like that (and start spending it on piano lessons. Woof.) The dog will get a walk every day, and get to sniff the butts of other dogs.

Nah, I'm just gonna miss my girl, and she's going to start second grade, and she's just going to keep getting older and older until she leaves for college, and moves to a more affordable town, and then she'll only come home on holidays, that is if she doesn't have Mother Issues and hate me, and then when she comes home she'll only want to hang out with her friends and borrow what I hope will be my new car, but it will probably be the same car I'm driving now, and she'll roll her eyes at me, and just keep leaving and where will I be? I'll probably be sitting at my third or fourth laptop after this one doing the same thing I'm doing right now. God, this is depressing.

The Grey Granny

Remember when I told you that my hair was falling out? Well, it was, and I lost about, say, 20% of my hair, maybe more. The doctor said it was because of my illness, and the low iron, and she also said it could come back different. Well, my small fear has been realized, and I plucked about fifteen grey hairs today. They were mostly short ones, meaning that they were new hairs replacing the ones that fell out. They seem to be concentrated on my left temple. There aren't enough that anyone looking at me would think to themselves, "Gee, she needs some grecian formula." or anything like that, but we all know how this story ends.

My friend seemed was all excited about it. She was all, "Ooh! I love when they grow in a patch!" but I fail to see what there is to be so excited about. She was appalled that I had plucked them out. I had about three grey hairs that I would pluck out periodically, but this is another thing altogether. I don't think I'm ready for this. Last night, my 25 year-old sister-in-law was shocked to learn that I am turning 39 in the fall. She had no idea I was so old. She didn't say those exact words, but I knew what she was thinking. But, you know, when you're 25, anyone over 30 seems like their one step in the rest home. I may as well have said I was turning 60. I told her the secret to my youthful glow was oily skin and extra weight, not clean living and and healthy diet that you might assume.

I'm going to bed now. I'm going to go sleep on my grey hairs.

I Don't Have Time For You People

I can't really talk right now. Or write right now, as it were. I have now 12 people coming for dinner, and its a thousand degrees in my house, and I've been on my feet all day so my dogs are barkin', I'm on my second mini rootbeer, and I need a break. When L is done watching her show, I get a turn, and I'm going to watch me a Mad Men rerun.

I did make a pitcher of margaritas, though, and it is chillin' in the fridge, callin' my name...

So, I know what I'm cooking, I now what music I'm going to play, I know what cocktail I'm serving, but I don't actually know where people are going to eat. I can seat four at my out door table, 6 at the indoor table. Maybe I should spread blankets on the lawn and we should have a picnic? I don't really have any blankets. Do I have 12 chairs? I guess I really haven't thought this through...

The Daily Cow

Usually, I am the cow. I do many things that are attributed to cows, like having lots of stomachs, and standing out in the rain, but today I am not the cow. No, today the title of cow goes to the adolescent girl who was sitting with her mother and sister at the table next to mine at PF Changs tonight. What a cow.

I know it sounds uncharitable, but it isn't a comment on her looks, and it really is more a comment on her mother's parenting. Let me see if I can 'splain: when we got there, the cow was practically laying on the table. Her knees were on the banquette, with her feet up on the top of the back of the banquette, like a V, and she was bent at the waist over the table and she was lounging on top of it like she was on her La Z Boy sectional at home. Her mother did not seem to notice, and her sister was having her own fun dangling around the table. There were kid's books on the floor, in the perfect place for a server to trip on them, and there seemed to be all kinds of other crap on the table, too. Then, their dessert was served, and the cow ate hers like she was eating her cud. She was finally seated on her ass, but her shoulders were hunched, and was chewing with her mouth open like a freakin' cow. I was so glad they were on dessert so they would be leaving soon, but I just wanted to smack that mother.

I don't care how judgmental I sound, or how many enemies I'll make, but if you are a parent and your child acts like this in a restaurant, or anywhere, for that matter, YOU'RE NOT DOING YOUR JOB!

What a cow.

$2K down, $3K to go

The new water heater is in, and the hot water is flowing. But it doesn't flow very well in my house, so on Friday we're getting new pipes and a new main line to the street. I will never get a new sofa, and I will have to stare at my mother-in-law's old sofa and my big green recliner until I die. Maybe I'll just crawl under my house and stare and the shiny copper pipes. Do you think that will help me feel better?

My neighbors across the street are out of town, and when they heard our water heater was broken, they offered up their shower until ours was fixed. They have a new house with all new plumbing and I'm here to tell you: I may have hot water now, but I am showering at their house until my new pipes are installed. It was so awesome. The water pressure actually rinsed my hair in seconds! No wonder people love to shower if that's what it feels like!

Leila is off with my parents on an overnight trip and I gave her my old camera to document her experience. Digital camera in the hands of a seven year-old: genius or folly? I figure the worst thing that will happen is that she breaks it, but she's a very careful girl so that is unlikely. Lets see if she can frame a shot and focus. I'll post the good ones.

So, I have two days without my girl and I don't know what to do with myself. I'm going to take in a movie this afternoon, and maybe get a pedicure. However, with all my money going into the pipes, I may have to economize. I bet Rob would just love to paint my toenails!!

H2 Oh No!

We can live without hot water, right? I mean, running hot water is a pretty modern invention in the scheme of things, and people have lived without it before so we could conceivably do it again, right? Warm showers are really for namby pamby spoiled brats, right? Oh, yeah. I am a namby pamby spoiled brat...

I need a new water heater. Ours is only 8 years old, but its the victim of old pipes and owners (meaning me and Rob) who had no idea that it needed regular maintenance, and now its dead. We killed it with our neglect. Coincidentally, we are getting our old pipes replaced on Friday, like semi responsible home owners, and now we need a new water heater to go with them.

You know what the real pisser is? Besides the fact that all this plumbing is throwing a wrench into my plans for a new sofa? I don't even like to shower. Personal hygiene is so boring. I find the whole showering, leg shaving, armpit scrubbing, hair conditioning BS a boring, boring chore. Then you add the lotion and the blow drying, and its all I can do to stay awake. I would be so happy if I could get away with showering once a week or less, but unless I'm willing to move deep into the woods and eschew all laws, I don't think I could get away with that. I actually caught one of the mothers in Leila's class staring in what appeared to be disbelief at the tired pedicure on my toe nails. The nail polish was already gone on half of the nails, and what was left on the rest was a sliver of pink leftover from the pedicure I'd had four months before. Then, when I got them re done, she commented like she was patting me on the head. If it weren't for the back issues of People magazine piled next to the pedicure chair, I'd never go. Bo-ring. Some people find facials and stuff like that relaxing. I do not. Give me Sex and the City reruns any day.

I'm trying to look on the bright side of spending more than my sofa savings on new pipes and a water heater: I will have enough water pressure to rinse my hair, so my showers will be shorter. I will no longer have episodes of freezing water during a shower. The sprayer on my kitchen faucet will have enough power to do a good rinse job on dishes. I wont have to worry about plumbing for many many years. Really? That's it?