I can't sleep. Its not that late, or anything, but I was so tired that I went to bed early and watched TV and now I can't sleep. I was watching the Oprah network, her behind-the-scenes show called Building a Network, and now all I can think about it how I would love it if Oprah were impressed enough with me that she would invite me to her house in Montecito and interview me about my fascinating life and my unique and extraordinary world views.
Then I start thinking about what I could do to make that happen, and I know she likes books and I like writing so I think, I've got to write something major, then she'll invite me. But let's face it: Oprah is not impressed by people who drink cokes while they sit around watching TV between folding loads of towels and cleaning the camping stove, even if they do write about it as brilliantly as I do. I have to write something more meaningful.
Then I get bogged down in what that might be, and I have some ideas, but then I think, There's no freakin' way I can pull that off. Which leads me to writing this bullshit on my computer at... 11:12 p.m. Oprah just gets me all riled up. Yes congratulations, Oprah: you've achieved your goal of making people lay awake at night figuring out how to be their best selves and impress you in the process. Well done.
Its dark in here. And quiet. Even my annoying cat who constantly bothers me while I'm trying to sleep is somewhere else tonight.
I don't know what else to write about, and if I stop I'll have to get back into bed and toss and turn and try to impress Oprah in my mind. Oh, to hell with it. I'll fall asleep eventually, and maybe the answer will come to me in a dream.