Remember when I gave L The Talk? Remember I told you there was a book I told her I would get her? I put it off, deciding that I would go get it if she ever asked about it. Well yesterday, she did. We were talking about putting a bunch of the story books in her room away, and she asked me, "Remember when you were telling me about your period?" (which sounds like I barricaded the door and made her listen to me alternately laugh and cry while eating microwave popcorn.) "Can you get me that book?"
pre-read the book yesterday. Its pretty good. It explains all about
pubic hair and zits and how to wash your hair. Important information
that every almost-9-year-old needs. At first she said she wanted to
read it on her own, but then she changed her mind and wants me to read
it to her. I guess the latter is preferable to me, so I can answer
questions on the spot, but I don't know if I'm supposed to say, "Hey!
You wanna read that book this afternoon?" or whether I should let her
come to me. Also, do I tell her not to show it to her friends? Do you
think I'll get in trouble with other moms if their daughter's flip
through this book and land on the How to Insert a Tampon page? Its not
gross, or anything, just... specific. I think I'll just leave it on her
bed for a few days and see what happens.
the next day now, and L did decide to read the book on her own. When I
was tucking her in, I asked her if she had read anything interesting,
and she said, "Its private." Um, WHAT? But I'm super cool mom! I'm
right here, ready to be cool and hip and open! What the hell do you
mean PRIVATE?! That's what I wanted to say, but it came out like this:
"okay." Is this where she starts having a life that is totally separate
from mine that I don't get to know about? That's already happened,
hasn't it? Damn. They're like people that way, aren't they. Double
damn. All this coolness, going to waste.
realizing that she yelled out from her room asking me if she could
circle things in the book, and I told her I didn't think she needed to.
Parenting fail. If I hadn't said that, she would have marked up the
book and I could have looked at what parts she read while she's in
school. Stupid! Is this the part where I'm supposed to let her
have that life that is totally separate from mine that I don't get to
know about? Did I just say that I was going to S.N.O.O.P.? God help
that child if she ever writes in a diary.
Where's my wine?