Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Shopping Hangover

Dude, I just went shopping.  For clothes.  For myself.  I shopped like I've never shopped before.  I dropped a lot of dough.  But when I talked to my friends and said, "Guess how much money I spent on clothes today:"  Three of them said, "Was it more than a thousand?" and I was all, "NO WAY!! Not even close!" and they were all, "Oh, then its not that bad."

Really?  Not that bad?  I feel a little jittery about it.  I don't think I've ever spent this much on clothes in one go.  Or in one year, for that matter.  I think I need some post shopping wine. 

Here are all my rationalizations for why its "not that bad:" 

1) I NEVER do this.  Once or twice a year I go to Target or Old Navy and get cheap, ill-fitting things and wear them until they fall off my body begging for mercy.  Or until I drip popcorn butter on them at the movies and can't get it out.  Which ever comes first.

2) I wear my clothes FOREVER.  I used a white camisole from the store to try on these gauzy tops, and I realized I might need some camisoles.  I bought three.  The last time I bought camis, I wasn't even married.  That's a long-ass time ago.  The things I got today I will probably wear for the next decade.  Unless I drip popcorn butter on them and I can't get it out.

3) Almost everything I bought was on sale, and I left two thirds of what I tried on in the dressing room.  So, really, I saved money.

4) I don't have a number four.  I only have three rationalizations, but, for emphasis, I'll restate the first: I NEVER do this.

Honestly, I feel a little drunk off this shopping spree; a little light headed.  I might need to lie down. 

I went with my friend, White Pants, who is a good shopping buddy because a) she always looks good and stylish and fresh, and b) she's honest.  She would never let me buy anything that looked hideous, and will beat me before she lets me walk out of a store with pants that are any looser than a sausage casing.  She's a good egg.  You know what she tried on?  White pants. 

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