So I was hungover this morning. Had a little too much fun with my girls last night, and slept in until 9:30 while Leila watched decorating shows and ate dry cereal. (tangent: She loves Divine Design on HGTV, and yesterday we were watching together and she's all, "I bet she's going to choose and L shaped sectional." and as if scripted, at that moment the host says, "I chose a beautiful L shaped sectional!")
I stumbled out of bed, had a nice, salty breakfast with a coke, and we began to formulate a plan for the day which involved getting dressed, having lunch, practicing piano (not me, just her) and then later a trip to her grandma's while I went to a work meeting.
The way she reacted to my insistence on getting dressed and practicing piano, you would have thought that I had asked her to scrub the toilet with her toothbrush while listening to modern classical composers. So I lost it. I gave her the old, "after all the fun camp stuff I signed you up for, and the sleeping in and watching TV in your pajamas, and the epic playdates and all that stuff, I'm asking you to practice piano for 15 minutes, and you can't do this one thing???!!!" and then she says, "But I've forgotten everything! How can I practice piano if I don't remember anything?!" and I'm all, "You just had your last piano lesson a week ago, I don't believe that you've forgotten anything at all!" and this goes back and forth (note to self: do not engage in ridiculous arguments; just repeatedly tell child what to do and add ever-worsening consequences for non-compliance. Repeat: do not get sucked in to child's big bag of bullshit.) and finally ends with her stomping off with a "Fine!!! I'll just do it now!!!" What a freakin' drama queen. Remember on Will and Grace where Jack would say, "This is a huff, and I'm leaving in it!" That should be Leila's line. She's so tortured! Poor baby!
At that moment the doorbell rings, and its her bestie from across the street and she wants to know if Leila can come to the city with them for the afternoon, but they have to leave right now. Leila runs and gets dressed and I shitcan my whole disciplinarian parent thing and let her go, without practicing piano, or even brushing her hair or teeth.
I feel like I just stole all my own thunder. But its totally worth it for a day of peace and quiet. But God as my witness, that child will practice piano when she gets home if I have to shackle her to the damn thing.
I can't think of anything intelligent to write except you are totally hilarious, and I would have done exactly the same thing. HA!
For the record I was also hungover but had to sit at the office ALL DAY that day. Painful, but totally worth it.
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