I Simply do Not Have Time for Sidewalk Masturbators

That title should say it all, shouldn't it? No?  Okay here's more!

I was having a really busy day, trying to get a bunch of stuff done and this was not how I thought my afternoon would go.  I was standing on the street today talking to my friend (who I already knew is hot, but I had no idea how hot) and she suddenly gasped and when I looked up, there was a guy with his junk out of his pants, fondling himself.

I've seen this guy before, for years actually, and assumed that he was developmentally disabled, so I didn't think too much of it, but I called the police anyway and officers came to the scene.  Turns out, not disabled.  I had to ID him on the street from the back of a patrol car, and, since I was the one who witnessed his little escapade, I had to decide whether or not he should get arrested, which I did, and he was.  I actually hesitated for a minute, but then I came to my senses.  There are kids in this neighborhood, y'know?

I thought they would track him down, and tell his caretaker to keep a closer eye on him and his junk, but instead, he's in jail this afternoon.

Now I need a glass of wine.  I wasn't at all rattled at the sight of his pee pee, but having police in your house, riding in the back of a police car, and knowing that you got someone arrested, someone who knows where you live, is enough to cause a nervous tummy. 

The funniest part was that a good friend drove by while I was talking to the officers outside my house and put her thumb and pinky to her ear and lips and mouthed the words, "Call me!"