Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Jury is in on Banjo

Dude, I'm in Jury duty.  I'm in the jury waiting room, not in the courtroom.  We haven't been called down yet.  I'm really hoping that they settle before we're called so I can go wash the dog.  He stinks.

I think I'll take this opportunity to tell you about Banjo, the monument to my laziness.  Banjo is my new roomba.  If you haven't ever heard of a roomba, its a vacuum cleaning robot.  I swear to God, I'm not making that up.  It sounds too good to be true, but it is true!  In fact, as I sit here in this jury room, listening to some guy over by the window bore those around him with a story about his home construction, Banjo is in my bedroom, vacuuming under my bed!  Isn't that awesome?

It does have its limitations: You think its going to be enough to have all your floors vacuumed by a robot, but then you realize all the other things you'd like a robot to do.  Banjo can not go up on the sofa and suck up dog hair.  I suppose I could give him this opportunity, he shouldn't fall off or anything, but I'd still be on the hook for most of the hair.  It doesn't spot clean your kitchen floors.  There is a product by the same company that is  floor mopping robot, but I just can't. The kitchen floor is free of dust bunnies and other flotsam and jetsam, but the spots are still there necessitating a mop that is not a robot. I think I could put it in the trunk of my car, though.

It will not clean the pink mildew in between my shower tiles, obviously.  The bathroom floor is clean (ish) but I'm on my own with the mildew.  So its not a panacea.  It will not solve all my housekeeping problems.  But it will clean up the cat hair in the bedroom, and that's something.

Why does this chatterbox in the jury room have such a booming voice?  The rest of the people making polite conversation are speaking in hushed murmurs, but this one guy, who wont shut up, his voice just echoes all over the place.  I know all about his construction project, and that he hasn't had a raise in 15 years, and the his partner's daughter is in her second year of college, and he's all the way across the room.  He's wearing a yellow Hawaiian shirt, and has a grey mustache.  Do you think if I stood up and started yelling at him to shut the hell up they would excuse me from jury duty for reason of insanity?

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