Rob and Leila are going on a trip together tomorrow, and you wanna know what's awesome? I don't have to pack anything, or prep anything! I get to sit here and eat jelly bellies and write this while Rob does all the stuff I normally have to do when we go on a trip! For the record, I did do 7 loads of laundry so all their clothes would be clean, and I packed Leila's clothes and made her clean her room, and I have offered additional help, but I have been relieved of my pre-trip duties!!
Which doesn't mean that I am not trying to exert my control over every little thing, like what Leila will wear, and whether or not they should take sleeping bags, and what kind of food Rob should bring, and where they should stop for lunch on the way. I am totally aware of this, and have called myself out, and made a blanket apology for sticking my nose in their business. In fact, earlier, when I was hearing the over-complicated machinations over their lunch plans, I said to myself, quietly, in my head, This has nothing to do with you. Don't say a word. Stay out of it. And I was able to stay that course for about an hour before I had to blurt out my opinion. Then I blurted out that I had sat on those feelings for whole hour and someone should just go ahead and give me a medal.
Maybe this is why Rob has refused my offers of help, and is happily packing away without me hanging over his shoulder telling him what socks to bring, and how to tuck them inside his shoes.
Here's another thing about Rob that made me look at him in disbelief. There is some disagreement among parents about how you are supposed to talk to your children about drugs; some say be honest about your own experiences as a stoner or an 80's coke head, others say lie, lie, lie. Today Leila asked me if I'd ever stolen anything, and before I could decide which team I'm on, truth or lies, I said "Yes," which, of course, was followed by "What did you steal?" so I told her, "Eyeliner from a drug store." Then I said, laying it on as thick as possible, "And I hated myself for it! It really ate me up inside. I never did anything like that again, I can tell you. Phew!"
So then its Rob's turn, and he says, yes, he stole a candy bar from a grocery store, (and I should point out that Leila is completely flabbergasted by the fact that we had mis-spent youths. Just wait until she asks about the drugs!) And she asks, "Did you feel bad about it?" and he's all, "Not at all! That candy bar was delicious!"
I am leaving this man in charge of my child for 6 days. He wont let me help him get ready, and he wont let me tell him what to say, and he wont let me tell him where to eat, and I just have to sit here and be okay with that. I'm not sure there is enough wine at Trader Joes...