Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Black Coffee in Bed

Like I would ever give you up for Rob, of all people. Honestly. April Fools, just in case you haven't caught on by now.

I just don't know what to cover first. I took part in the longest PTA meeting to ever take place this morning, I've eaten my weight in liverwurst and herring salad in the last few days, I have the inaugural meeting of the Mother/Daughter Book Club at my house tomorrow night, and I'm in charge of doing the class' auction project for the big fundraising auction this year.

That last part makes me feel like I just typed, "and I'll be going into space on the next space shuttle." I am the lamest artsy person I know, and it is a crime that I am in charge of this project, but no one else volunteered in time, so here we are. If I can get this project done and in a frame and ready for people to bid on by the end of next week, it will be a freakin' miracle.

When I write in September about how I want to be Home Room Parent for the class, please remind me of this moment, okay? Maybe that will knock some sense into me. I have figured out why we have summer vacation: because at the end of the school year, you are muttering to yourself, I am never going to be Home Room Parent again, and this school fundraiser can suck it, and I need a real job and I can't take it anymore, and then they give you two glorious months off, during which time you drink a lot of margaritas and spend some days by the beach and sleep in and stuff, so that by September you're all, eh, it wasn't so bad. Okay, sign me up.

Please don't let this happen to me.

Here's something totally else, though: Is it gross to eat in bed or not? I have heard conflicting ideas on this. Does it depend on what you're eating? Like, what if what you're eating doesn't produce crumbs or drips? When I smoked, a thousand years ago (because I'm the pillar of health now...) I smoked in bed too and people thought it was disgusting. I loved it! It was the best place to smoke; in bed with a good book and a glass of water, smokin' away. And after years of roommates that made me sit outside in the cold and smoke, it was the height of luxury. So I ask you: what is so gross about eating in bed? I love eating in bed. In fact, I think most tasks are vastly more enjoyable if you can do them in bed. If I were some kind of rich industrialist, I would probably run as much of my empire from bed as possible.

Alright that's it. Love ya.


Jewcy Bits said...

I'd prefer to be in bed ... sleeping. Since I do that so rarely, I think I might embrace it. For a few days at least.

Lara Starr said...

I don't think eating in bed is gross per se, but I only maybe do it once or twice a year - a cookie or two while I'm reading. I HATE the idea of breakfast in bed. I also wouldn't call it gross either, but it makes me feel claustrophobic/"stuck." But then, I'm the gal who doesn't like room service.

Denise said...

Yeah! You're back! Whew... I did post anonymously that this MIGHT be an April Fools joke given the timing! BTW, I am a friend of Michelle's. I love your blog. Witty and entertaining. Thanks for making me smile on a regular basis.

Bored Housewife said...

I can eat any and all meals in bed. Read in bed. Write in bed. Drink wine in bed. talk on the phone in bed. I can RUN MY EMPIRE! And I think room service is the best invention EVER.

Nice to meet you, Denise! Thanks for reading!!