Thursday, November 9, 2017

Old Ass

Today is my birthday.  I'm 47.  I feel about 26.  I look... 47.  Here is a list of the things that make me feel old:
1) When I have to enter my birth year online, and I have to scroll and scroll and scroll to get to 1970. 
2) I've had the same email address for more than 20 years.  I've watched email be new, exciting technology, and now old technology.  I'm binge watching old Will and Grace with the kid, and they all have land lines and online dating is new. 
3) Computers don't even come with CD drives anymore and I don't know how to make someone a 'mix tape' now. 
4) There are so many fewer gift possibilities now.  No CDs or DVDS or books. I've had to resort to giving my husband cufflinks.  And shirts that use cufflinks.
5) Writing the check for my property taxes doesn't make me feel old exactly, but it makes me feel mature.  And broke.
6) My skin.  And my ass.  No amount of weight loss will get this ass or these boobs back to where they used to be.  So fuck weight loss.
7) Walking my little neighbor to kindergarten once a week and realizing that that school used to be my whole life. And now my whole life is my couch.
8) My kid is looking at colleges.  And driving.  She's driving a car.
9) My once new car is 18 years old and parts are falling off of it.  If it were a person it could vote. 
10) That same car has a sticker from the college I went to on it, and now if people see it they probably think my kid goes there.  No one gives two shits where I went to college anymore.

So there you have it: A list of 10 things that make me feel as old as I am, or older.  But its all good.  Life is good, and uncomplicated, and fun, and there's so much good TV.  Its all worth it.


joanna nelson said...

I love this BD blog. And I love you. I wish you would blog on the daily, like, in between TV commercials.

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