You know, its really hard to be light and funny right now. The news and the catastrophes and the apocalypse are starting to get to me. I just have no head space for what is happening in Spain and Catalonia right now. I'm full up. Sorry, Spain. Or Catalonia. Or whichever one is right, I don't even know, and I just can't pay attention to that right now.
So right now I'm sitting on my couch in my bathrobe at 5 pm. I just need a cigarette and a soap opera and some hamburger helper and I would be a picture of the 70s. My house has been upside down for the past week because we had some work done in our bathroom, and I did some work in my kitchen and everything has to be put back together. By me. Alone. So I cleaned the kitchen, had some food, and then took a break and read and took a nap. Then I promised myself that if I scrubbed the bathtub and took a shower, I could watch The Deuce on HBO (more on that in a minute.) So I scrubbed the shit out of the shower (its so weird how clean stuff gets when you actually, y'know, clean it) took a shower in my freshly scrubbed tub with freshly grouted tile surround, and then I sat on the sofa in my bathrobe and watched my show and haven't moved. The kitchen and the tub are the tip of the iceberg in this house, but I don't want to get carried away.
I love this show, The Deuce. It is so dirty and gritty and misogynistic, and so well acted, and so well art directed and shot. I love everything about it. If you can't handle pimps and prostitutes and violence against women and the mob and dirty cops, its not your show. But I love it. It makes me want to smoke.
I haven't smoked a cigarette in over a decade and even when I did smoke it was only a little. But lately, and maybe its all the apocalypse, I just want to smoke again. I haven't, and I would probably barf if I did, but sometimes I fake smoke when I'm by myself, with a pencil or something. This came up on that show This is Us, fake smoking. Now that show: Is there anything more manipulative? I don't like shows or movies that pull the tears out of you like that's their goal. That show doesn't make me cry. I refuse to cry because that's what it wants me to do. But I'm still watching it, so that's on me.
I have to go feed my dogs and the fish. They are all waiting not-so-patiently