Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Blowing her Mind

Ten Pound Blitz update: I'm 3.2 lbs. down for the week.  I feel thinner already.  I'm .3 lbs. ahead of my competition.  Game on!

I took Leila bra shopping the other day.  I realize that one day she may get furious with me for sharing this kind of information with the whole internet, but, whatever: I gave birth, I had to stick my pinky finger in her butt to help her poo when she was a baby, I put up with her messy room and her quirky eating habits, I think I've earned it.

Back to bras.  You would have thought that I was making her do a strip tease in front of the whole 5th grade.  We picked out some bras, went into the largest dressing room, and she points to one of the bras and says, "that looks good, let's get that one."  I told her she had to try it on, and try on the other ones too to  see which one was best for her, and she looked at me like I had told her to eat the bras instead of try them on.  "You mean I have to take my top off?  IN PUBLIC???"  I told her it was not "public" it was in the privacy of the dressing room.  Then she tried to kick me out, and I told her I had to make sure they fit properly.  So she made me turn around and face the wall, because God forbid I see her little boobies.  Remember the part where I had to stick my pinky finger up her butt?

Then came time for her to try on a regular-style bra vs. a training bra, and she was trying to do the clasp behind her back rather than doing it in the front and sliding the bra around, but I wasn't allowed to turn around and show her how to do it.  I turned around anyway, and pointed my eye balls at the ceiling while showing her how it was done.  That bra didn't turn out so well, so we stuck with the training kind.

Then I made her try on a bathing suit.  That was even more traumatic because she had to take her pants off IN PUBLIC.  I said she could leave her underwear on, but that was hardly any consolation.  She was completely mortified by the whole experience.  I told her to get used to it, because every woman in America eventually has to try on bras and bathing suits, and we all hate it, but its just one of those things. 

I went to the gynecologist today.  I can only imaging how Leila is going to feel about that.  I couldn't help telling her that I went to the gynecologist, and explaining that this was doctor that looked in your vagina.  Then I told her that my gyno is a man.  I think her head may have exploded. 

1 comment:

Blogger said...

I have just downloaded iStripper, and now I enjoy having the best virtual strippers on my desktop.