Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Nothing Regular about this Programming

Okay so here's the deal.  I'm not sure about saying this out loud to the whole internet, but here goes:
you've heard about the foot, and the leg, and the pain, and the medical leave; now its time to hear about Bored Housewife's little nutty.  Or big nutty.  Big BIG nutty.  If I were a celebrity, which I am decidedly not (no thanks to you,) I would probably have my PR person tell TMZ that I've been checked in to Promises Malibu for "exhaustion."  But here in Bored Housewife Land, I am my own publicist, and the only place I've checked into is my bed. 

Yes, its true.  My pain lapsed into anxiety which dipped deeply into depression accompanied by more anxiety, debilitating anxiety, and this all lead to doctors and drugs and - oh my poor husband.  I have sought the assistance of medicine, both eastern and western, energy healing, guided meditation, anything to get myself back, and slowly - excruciatingly slowly - I am coming back. 

Today is the first day that I have felt like writing.  I have gone almost 24 hours without a crippling anxiety attack, I have not taken an ativan today, and I made my own lunch, which involved turning on the stove and using a can opener.  This may not seem like a lot, but it is a god damn miracle for me right now.  Also, in case you were wondering, I am bathing and washing my hair, but my legs haven't been shaved in weeks, and my fingernails are luxuriously long from not doing anything but pulling the covers over my head. 

So, now you know.  If a I disappear for a while, it is because "I" have disappeared for a while; if you know what I mean.

Its not all doom and gloom, though.  I had a huge laughing fit the other morning thinking about Pigpen, the dirty guy from the Peanuts gang.  Have you ever really considered that character?  He is completely filthy, has clouds of dust and specs of dirt that follow him around every where, his name is PIGPEN, for heaven's sake, and none of the other Peanuts characters judge him, if I recall correctly, except Lucy and she judges everybody.  Where were his parents?!  Why was everyone so okay with him being so dirty?  What did his house look like?  Where was CPS?  Can you even imagine having a character like this on TV today?  A kid so filthy, he's surrounded by a literal cloud of dirt?  Look at him:

Look at his hair. He looks like he works in a flea-infested coal mine. And he seems happy!  Really consider Pigpen for a moment, and you might laugh like I did.

But I'm fairly crazy, so what do I know?


Anonymous said...

And as Im recall, Pigpen was a pretty nice kid. So all in all, the many subtle lessons we learned from the Peanuts gang. A real shame my kids find Peants too "slow" to watch. Hope you're continuing to climb up out of the depression!

Lara Starr said...

Thinking good thoughts for you and wishing you peace as you recover. And, Pigpen is funny :)

Michelle said...

Many years ago I had a deep depression that lasted for many months. It was terrible but it was also one of the greatest gifts I've ever received. It took me many years before I was able to see it that way. My thoughts and prayer go to you. You are so entertaining, such a delightful spirit. I am happy to read you are beginning to turn the corner.