The other day was Easter. The week before was a crazy busy one with a big family wedding and all that those entail, so I was not super psyched to get up at the crack of dawn and hide plastic Easter eggs, lovingly filled with chocolate, all over the yard. But the effing Easter bunny was still alive and well in my daughter's heart, so what could I do? I think it was heroic of me to even remember to get Easter candy at all, even if the dog did suss out the reases pieces and eat them all like a little pig.
There was no ritualistic getting down of the Easter box and wrestling with the plastic Easter eggs to fit tops to bottoms. Oh no. I went outside around 7:30 in the morning, and tossed foil-wrapped chocolate eggs all over the lawn from the balcony, and then went down to "hide" some things in the bushes. Done.
Leila had slept on the couch for the second night in a row because I hadn't had time to put her clean sheets on her bed. She asks me "Did you hide stuff in the yard for me?"
I have been waiting for about three years to be finally done with the Easter Bunny and his cohorts. It was wonderful and cute while she was little, but I'm tired of all that sneaking around now, and I just want to hand her her presents and be done with it.
So I say, "What's that now? Are you asking me if I'm the Easter bunny?" Yes. Yes she was. So I said, "Yes, I am the Easter bunny." and she says, "What other magical creatures are you? Like, are you the tooth fairy?" and I said, "Yes, I am the tooth fairy." Then she says, "Don't ruin Christmas."
We went outside to "search" for the eggs that I'd strewn all over the lawn, and they were gone. I asked L if she had already gone outside, but she hadn't, and then we saw a scrub jay hovering over us looking guilty. Damn bird stole all the chocolate eggs! Can you believe it? The bird did not, however, steal the kit kats, or the DVD of Talladega Nights hidden behind the garden box.
So there it is: No more Easter bunny, she's lost all her teeth, and the jig is up with Santa Claus, too. Thank you Easter bunny! Bawk bawk!!